A Touch of Glitz

Well, it's Thursday morning. Which means last night, I was sunk into my couch, wine glass in hand, glued to my all time favorite show.


Oh yes, you read that right. Toddlers & Tiaras. The glitz, the glitter, the glamour. The big hair and even bigger attitudes. I love it all. It's like my crack. Well, that, and shopping.

Anypageants, last night didn't disappoint. They brought the crazy. Hell, they even tied it up in a pretty, glitzy bow.

My favorite stars of last night's show were Alaska and Braxton. A brother and sister duo who compete against each other. Not only for the Supreme Title, but for momma's attention as well. Braxton is what his mom calls a "very pretty boy". She keeps his hair longer and even said she could put his hair in pigtails and have him compete as a girl. Someone's been sipping the crazy koolaid! Now, the daughter, Alaska, is a very pretty little girl. But her mom says she's very "cookie cutter" since she's blonde haired and blue eyed, and basically says her son would beat her daughter in a pageant any day. She even goes as far as saying she hopes Alaska "accepts defeat or failure” if she loses. Crazy momma say whaaaa!? She bleaches the kids teeth and tints Alaska's blonde eyelashes. She's pretty much the Gary Busey of pageant moms.

Even the dad dips his feet in the crazy pool this week. When Braxton goes in for a haircut the dad is the one who critiques the cut and Alaska chimes in and says the he's the "hair manager". At this point I was pretty much in love with this family for bringing such a hot mess into my living room.

Now, I'm not going to tell y'all what the outcome of the pageant was, just in case someone wants to watch the episode, but I will say that there is a ton of drama! Everything from crappy hair stylists to musical mishaps, and the crowing is sure to shock you!

Ok, I'm off to practice the pageant wave with my daughter. I kid, I kid. Mostly. ;-)

Xoxo m'dears!
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{Semi} Wordless Wednesday

The world is a revolving door.











Dining with our adoring fans (i.e. Gran).
Seriously, the kid's a star, it's like she's coming out of the restaurant to greet the paparazzi!

Come on over to the lovely Daph's place for more {Semi} Wordless Wednesday, and maybe even link up your own!
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It's Tuesday, and You've Pissed Me Off

No, not you. My readers never piss me off. Y'all are wonderful. Really, you all deserve awards. Ok, enough sucking up. Let's get to the people who do piss me off, m'kay?

I'm in Austin today, which means that my anxiety and my blood pressure are sky high. Don't get me wrong, I *love* Austin, however, I don't like most of the people who live here. So I've decided to bitch about them today. Aren't y'all in for a treat!?

Dude Who Parks Too Close
Listen, I know you think you're a stud in your big ol' pickup truck, but that's no reason to be an ass. You seem to be in perfectly good health, so why must you have the very front parking space? There's no logical reason. But, since you insisted on parking in the very first space, and your truck is huge, you parked so close to me that I had to move out of my space in order to let my mother into the passenger side. You, sir, are a douche. Why not park at the end of the aisle with the rest of the trucks next time?

Woman Who Hauls Ass Down The Freeway
I get it, you have a fast car and a rich husband. That, however, does not entitle you to tailgate and swerve through traffic like a mad woman. I understand that you're probably late for your appointment to get your Botox injections, but seriously? You're pissing me off. If you make me curse in front of my daughter, I will follow you and make you pay. Oh, and that snotty look you give people as you pass them by? Makes you look like a horse.

Austin Traffic in General
You people are freaking crazy! It's like all of you are bipolar! One minute your driving too fast, then everyone slams on their brakes at the same time. You change lanes without looking or signaling and you're all texting at the same time! Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not the world's best driver, and I do have a bit of a lead foot and a touch of road rage, but I like to think I'm pretty safe when my baby is with me. So please, hang up the phone, use your blinker, and at least go the speed limit. Maybe then my blood pressure will go down and I won't have the urge to shank every one of you.

Thanks for your cooperation,
J
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Monday Musings

Dear Sweet Child of Mine,

You, m'dear, are so smart. Your vocabulary is amazing, you're doing things well past your age group, and you are making Mommy and Daddy so proud. Which, come on, who are we kidding, you're my child, everyone knew you'd be advanced! But, that's not the point. The point is, you amaze me everyday with how beautiful, talented, sweet, and smart you are. So why, my brilliant little child, can you not remember that when you pull on your earlobe, that it's going to hurt? Seriously, stop it.


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Must Be Doing Something Right

TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL

By Maya Angelou

We, unaccustomed to courage

exiles from delight

live coiled in shells of loneliness

until love leaves its high holy temple

and comes into our sight

to liberate us into life.

Love arrives

and in its train come ecstasies

old memories of pleasure

ancient histories of pain.

Yet if we are bold,

love strikes away the chains of fear

from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity

In the flush of love's light

we dare be brave

And suddenly we see

that love costs all we are

and will ever be.

Yet it is only love

which sets us free.

 

Five years ago, on a hot June morning, I married my best friend. Five years ago today.

 

In five short years we've experienced so many things. We've moved around like nomads, traveled as much as we could, fought like cats and dogs, loved harder with every day, cried many tears and laughed so much our bellies hurt. We've lost loved ones and gained a beautiful daughter. We've built a wonderful life together.

 

There were some people who said we wouldn't last. I was all of 20 years old, and we hadn't even been together a full year. But we knew we were meant to be together. I remember that morning as though it was yesterday. I remember the butterflies in my stomach, and I remember the tears of joy that ran down my cheeks. I remember looking into my husband's eyes at the end of the ceremony and seeing nothing but love looking back at me.

He's been a wonderful husband. He's cared for me when I've been sick, he's held me when I've been sad, and he's busted his back to give us a good life. Not to mention, he's the best father in the world. Our little girl simply adores her daddy.

There isn't anything I'd change about the last five years. I love my life that I've made with the man I married 5 years ago.

I love you, B. Happy Anniversary.

The Good Ol' Days

Wanna know how we spent Father's Day? We watched a Pop-Up Video The Big 80s marathon on VH1 Classic all day. I'm not even kidding. I'm also not kidding when I say that this isn't the first Sunday we've spent this way.

Anyeighties, since then I've had my hair pulled up in a high side ponytail and I may or may not have been rocking leg warmers and my off the shoulder sweatshirt. I'll never tell. But, I will admit that it has me thinking. I miss the 80s. I'm completely serious. I miss everything about it.



Everything from the music.




To the entertainment.




To the fashion.




To the hair. Oh, the hair.

I'm a girl obsessed, really. Granted, I was only 5 when the 80s ended, but still. I remember it. And it was a good time. But, unfortunately, we can't go back. We're stuck in present day.

So, until someone builds an effective time machine, I'll be dancing around my kitchen to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" in my best 80s get up and listening to the hubs walk around singing "White Wedding."

Until next time, keep it totally rad lovers!

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Sunday Confessions

Actually, this isn't so much of a confession, because it's kind of obvious.

Friends? I'm kind of burnt out with this whole social media thing. I hardly blog anymore, I only check twitter out about once a week, and I've just about forgotten about facebook. I really think it's just gotten a bit too much. I follow too many blogs and too many people on twitter. I miss blogging, and I miss enjoying twitter. I think it's time to go through and weed out some things. Unfollow some blogs, as well as some people. Maybe then I'll feel inspired again and be able to get back into blogging more.

Hopefully all of you are having fantastic Sundays!

Xoxo

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Contact J

ohheyitsj {at} gmail {dot} com

Mean Girls Have Nothing on These Women

Friends, let's talk for a minute. I'm gonna get a little "mommy blogger" today. There's something that's been bothering me for awhile, and I think it's time that I say something about it. Just get it off of my chest.

What is the deal with the Mean Mommies nowadays? Why is everyone so competitive with each other, and who gave anyone the idea that just because they have successfully raised a child for a year, that they've become an expert?

Now, maybe I'm a little naive, but I thought once I had Baby Butterbean, that I would instantly have a connection with other moms. I thought that I would be able to turn to my fellow mommies and ask for opinions or advice. Boy was I wrong. It seems that if you ask a mom for advice, she snubs you for not knowing the answer to the problem and then snickers about you behind your back to her Mean Mommy friends. Or, if you want to share your child's latest accomplishment, she feels the need to one-up you. A "my child is smarter/prettier/faster/better than your child" type of thing. And that? Is total crap. All children grow at different rates. Baby Butterbean didn't walk until after she was a year, but she was sitting up and crawling before she was 5 months. I promise that there are things that your kid can do better than my kid just the same as there are things that she can do better than your kid.

Then there's the whole "oh my, you don't breastfeed/co-sleep, how horrible!" nonsense. Or the "oh my, you vaccinate/let your child cry it out!?" judgment. Guess what ladies, some women aren't able to breastfeed! And some women don't want to breastfeed a 2/5/10 year old. Here's the thing, every parent is entitled to raise their child the way that they please. You think I'm weird for not breastfeeding or not co-sleeping? Well, maybe I think you're weird for breastfeeding and co-sleeping with your 3 year old. That doesn't mean that I should ostracize you because you do things differently than I do. My husband and I have reasons for raising our daughter the way we have. The only time that she has slept with us is whenever she's ran a high fever, and the time when we were on vacation and our hotel didn't have an extra crib. And guess what? Those nights that she slept with us were the nights that she slept the most restless. She tossed and turned and only slept about 7 hours. When she's in her own bed she sleeps 10-12 hours a night. And that whole cry it out thing? When we first started letting her put herself to sleep she cried for no more than 5 minutes and then drifted off to sleep. After the fifth night she didn't cry anymore. She now puts herself to sleep every night and at every nap. I can even ask her if she's ready to go to bed and she'll go to her room and stand by her crib. So, tell me, what have I done wrong? Did she ever doubt that we loved her because we let her cry for a few minutes? No. Absolutely not. She has turned out to be one of the most outgoing and well behaved children I've ever seen.

So, my advice to any Mean Mommies is this: chillax. Climb down off of your high horse and get your nose out of the air. Because there will be a time when your co-sleeping, breastfeeding, supposedly smarter child will throw a fit in the middle of the cereal aisle and my well behaved, independent, whole milk and sweet tea drinking daughter and I will stroll past you and smile. Maybe if you hadn't been such a Mean Mom, I'd offer my sympathy.
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Trend Watch Tuesday: Kora Bruce from Dixie Lust

Hey Y'all -

It's Mizz Kora Bruce over from the newly revived Dixie Lust. Lady J asked me to stop on by let give you guys a little post on my style. But before we get to that, lets take care of some business.

J, JGar, & Moi the night we all met IRL

January 2011

I just want to, for a moment, tell you guys how much I adore this lady. We've been "blogging buddies" since 2009 or so but this past January we took the much over-due next step and met in real life. Oh. My. Goodness. She's too much. I absolutely can not get enough of her. With countless inside jokes, made up vocabulary, daily gchats, and trash talking that would make Joan Rivers blush, we've got a lady-romance like no other.

*ahem*

In short, I kind of love her.

*cough*

So yeah....

STYLE.

When J asked me to do this post, I thought for a while what I'd show you guys - My work-wear? My saturday night dresses? My netflix-and-napping sweats? But I've come to realize style's such a unique and personal thing. I don't want to come here and tell you need these heels and this bedazzled brooch when you're a Nike Dunks kind of girl. I don't want to show you 15 sleeveless dresses when your workplace strictly enforces "no bare arms."

What I want to talk about is giving yourself the freedom to create. I can already hear some of you whispering "I'm not the creative type...." and I say "Psssssh whatevs..."

For me, fashion is all about finding pieces that you're innately drawn to and making them work with everything else thats made its way into your closet. Its about closing your eyes in the morning, gauging your mood and wants, then diving in to your closet and finding something that reflects exactly what you feel.

So here's a few ideas on getting your fashion-artistry on:

MISE EN PLACE

For all those who aren't as obsessed with cooking as I am, "mise en place" is French for "everything in place." Before chefs create a meal, they take out every ingredient they're going to use, pre-measure it and set it next to their work area.

I've always been under the impression that because I label myself "a creative person" that my surroundings need to reflect that and be just as unpredictable and free as what I create. Wrong. I've done a little business training and life coaching in recent years, and through that I realize that when I'm at peak "mise en place"-ness, then I do my best creating - whether its work, blogging, or even my closet.

For me, it's been about visually knowing whats available for todays outfit.

Hence my closet looks like this:

THINGS THAT AREN'T IN MY CLOSET

• Items that pinch, pull, ride up, sag, and just plain don't fit.
• Items that are torn, have a broken zipper, missing a button, etc
• Items that are trendy but don't flatter. Hello, leggings. I refuse to look like an ice cream cone.

I'm not saying you have to throw it out, just move it to a different spot where you'll remember to have it fixed or altered. Nothings worse than being in a rush to get dressed, only to pick items that dont fit, don''t zip, or make me feel like a fatty.

FIND INSPIRATION

I know fashion bloggers are everywhere these days, and they're great for inspiration but don't let be your lone source.

One of my biggest sources of fashion inspiration is graphic design. Companies pay designers and focus groups tons of money to find color and texture combinations that "work."

Find a logo, a website, a billboard that jumps out to you - one that you're instantly drawn to aesthetically - and try creating a look using the elements that drew you to it.

CONVENTIONAL USE IS MERELY A SUGGESTION

A shirt isn't always a shirt. Sometimes it's a skirt.

And sometimes a dress can be a shirt. or skirt. or a head wrap.

Sometimes those earrings are hair charms.

(oh yes. I've done it)

If you see something in your closet and think I wish that _______ was a _______ , make it happen.

GET OUT OF A RUT BY GIVING YOURSELF A CHALLENGE

Sometimes you simply need some guidelines to get your creativity flowing.

Some of the challenges I've seen happening online:

Black Out → try a week with no black

Apparel Diet → set a time frame for no new purchases

Remix 30 → pick 30 pieces to wear for the month & remix them

$100 summer - Set aside $100 limit for summer purchases

Try following one of the above, adapting it, or creating your own!

Alrighty folks,

That's all I've got for you today. Hope it gave you guys a few ideas!

Make sure to come visit over at Dixie Lust!

My Southern Heart is Heavy

I just saw Daph's post on Social Media Silence for the South yesterday, so I'm a bit late to the game, but I definitely wanted in. The South is my home. It's in the way I talk, in the way I dress, and it runs through my veins and pumps through my heart. It's a part of me, and I ache for the people who have been devastated by the recent storms. I love what Daph has come up with, so I never even had to think twice about it. For the rest of the week, I'll be taking a break from social media. No tweeting, no blogging, no facebook. Whenever I find myself picking up my phone to do something social media wise, I'll put it down and say a prayer for the South. If you want to join me, you can grab the badge over at Daph's.

See y'all next week.